Thoughts on Vulnerability

Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m not good enough. As I’ve discussed before, one of my greatest fears is failure. A lot of times I don’t try things because I prefer the thought of never doing it over the thought of failing at doing it. 

Vulnerability is what I feel when I do something that I don’t think I’m good enough at. Confidence is the opposite of vulnerability. I believe very few people can face most tasks not feeling vulnerable. The key to overcoming these pressing feeling is, as cliché as it seems, practice. Practicing is at the heart of gaining confidence, and at overcoming failure. The most vulnerable I ever feel is when I stand in front of a group of people to say something. I'm naturally pretty shy, and I try to avoid being the center of attention, but public speaking is a very useful skill to possess. Whenever I have to speak, I remind myself constantly that millions of people have done what I'm doing and that it'll be over soon enough. While practicing public speaking definitely won't hurt, the best way to approach a group of people to speak is to be prepared. When I speak at church, I always have note cards of some sort that help guide me through what I'm saying, because my brain is definitely not functioning. Any time I face something where I feel that terrible feeling of vulnerability, I just think to myself that I have nothing to lose, and life's too short to be turned away from something by a feeling. While it's easy to say, it's much harder to do, and it's something I work on everyday.

Three R's and other questions

1.      Which of the three R’s do you feel you need to develop? I would have to say the resilience is what I need to work on most. Resilience would help the other R’s, like the ability to retain relationships through thick and thin. Dr. Siegel said to get rid, or tone down, reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic. I think these things would come much more naturally if I and others developed a higher tolerance of challenges and obstacles, especially at a younger age.

2.      What are three books you’ve read in the past year? I’ve read the Mitch Rapp series by Vince Flynn, the Camel Club series by David Baldacci, and I’m working on the Maze Runner series by James Dashner currently. Much more than three books, but I have a hard time reading books that aren’t in a series.

3.      As a child, what did you do in your free time? My recollection of memories have me spending most of my time either playing computer games, building endless creations with legos, or fighting with lightsabers/GI JOES. I also read a lot as a kid.

4.      What’s a goal that has been on your list for a few years? Most of my goals are year to year so there’s not really a specific one that comes to mind. I have strived to end my high school career top 15 in class since freshmen year. I’m also striving to get 12’ in pole vault in track, a goal I’ve had for a year.

5.      What do you actually do with your free time? My free time now tends to be limited to about an hour on school nights and Sunday afternoons. You can either find me watching sports/music videos on YouTube, playing my guitar, tweeting, or reading. With more time I’m usually hanging with my friends.

6.      What types of activities energize you? I really enjoy (most days) working out at school, and I’ve been lifting in school every year since 6^th grade. I’ve also developed an addiction to the thrill of pole vaulting, and track season is my favorite time of the year. Any sort of ultimate Frisbee or pickup football game really gets my blood flowing.

7.      What famous people intrigue you? It’s sort of a funny pick, but I love Richard Branson, founder of Virgin (mobile, airlines, etc...). He’s 61 years old but lives his life like he’s 20. He has infinitely creative and modern ideas which have helped him create Virgin Groups (consisting of 400+ companies). I like his outlook on life and his persistence, even if he’s the British equivalent of Hugh Hefner.